Eeek

I hate that feeling when I think I might be falling for someone, especially when I have no idea where I stand with that person.

It all started Saturday night. P came over. We hadn't seen each other in almost a month. I had gone away, and then he left for Barcelona just before I came back. So we were in need of catching up...badly. I got this odd twinge in my stomach before he came, like I was nervous or something. I've been seeing him (fooling around, whatever...I have no idea) for over 2 months, and he's never made me nervous like that but I just felt like something was different. He came over, and I was still a bit nervous but felt a lot of chemistry and we talked a lot and the sex was great. The weird part is that afterward, when I was lying in my bed with him, I actually FELT something, and I never feel anything. 'Afterglow' is the best way I can describe it. I continued to feel it into the next day, and I'm almost feeling it now thinking about it.

I'm not sure where this is going. I've never been in real love before but I think this might be the start of it? I'm terrified, because now I absolutely hate the idea of losing him, and now I have feelings invested and I have NO idea where this is going. It's like investing millions into a startup company that could really go either way. Unfortunately emotions aren't money and you can't exactly choose who you invest them in.