Lately, I've been haunted by the Beatles song "Getting Better." Which isn't a bad song to be haunted by; it's positive and upbeat. I hear it in my sleep, it gets stuck in my head, and everywhere I go I seem to see the words "Getting Better" written everywhere (books, magazines, ads, etc.) It's kind of true too. Things are looking up. I maybe have a bit of income coming in (hopefully...cross our fingers. I'm crazy superstitious and don't want to jinx it.)
But I keep feeling like every time things look up, something drags me back. In this case, it's a 1,000 Euro electric bill from my old apartment (which turns out, I didn't properly register due to my crappy German and lack of help at the time.) Also, my floors need to be redone, which I want to DIY but my dad is being really pushy about getting done professionally, which I appraised and will cost around 5,500 Euro. I feel, that I want to at least attempt to DIY it, as I can't even afford to do these floors in increments. If I saved a thousand Euros a year (which is impossible for me at this point) it would take me FIVE years to pay for them. That's how crazy that idea is.
I'm trying not to let this get me down though. I know that I have to just keep trying to get my income up, and then hopefully I can be able to save a bit so I can handle stuff like this in the future. It's hard. My first instinct when stuff like this happens is to shoot myself down and regret all the choices I've made in my life, and just feel down on myself. But I'm determined to not do that now. I can only work toward the future, because the future is the only part of my life I can change.
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