Oh, Honey

Every once and a while, I read through old writing in order to gain ideas and inspiration from the past. I’ll go through the stacks of journals, poetry and notebooks I have and see what I can scrounge out that I may have already had before. Most of the time I read a lot of stuff that’s very silly, but I sometimes find a gem and work with it.

But that’s not really what this post is about. I did do that, and that’s where this starts, but this is about what I found in my journals between 2004-2008…

Basically, I can’t believe how naïve I was! Especially when I moved here and really started dating (something I hadn’t done much of before I came to Germany). Reading how I felt when I moved here and the things I thought about guys I dated, I just want to shake my head and say “Oh, honey”, a la How I Met Your Mother (video below):



I know hindsight is 20/20 and I know how it turns out, but still. I think if it wasn’t my life and I was just reading a blog or something someone else had posted, I’d feel the same way about it. It was kind of horrible in a way because I can see how I ended up so sad by 2008 (but somehow I hadn’t really learned by then either….) It's also very clear in the friends I chose. I guess in Canada I'd never really dated, and I only had friends I'd either known since school or had college classes with (and therefore very direct shared interests). I hadn't really met anyone in a while who I didn't already have some sort of background with, whether it be having the same interests and goals, or knowing all the same people. But when I came here, I didn't know anyone and I didn't have a lot of dating experience, or experience meeting friends from scratch. I guess I was just very sheltered. I was also very young. I didn't think 21 was so young when I moved here, and 5 years isn't really a long time in the scheme of things, but it's a period of time in which I've learned a lot and looking back I feel like I was a child almost.

On the other hand, I know I’m not that girl anymore (at least, I hope I’m not!) so I must have learned –something- from it all. I've spent a lot of time lately looking back on the past with rose-coloured lenses, but maybe it's better that I'm who I am now. The world isn't such a harsh place anymore :)